A few jokes I accidetally found

I just found a few hidden jokes in the Notepad++ executable and thought I'd share them here.
If you want to read them from the original source you can open the exe of the latest version of Notepad++ in any text editor and scroll about 3/4 the way down.

Husband is not an ATM machine!!!

OMFG

ROFL

FAP FAP FAP

lol

WTF?!

Uuuuuuuuuur Ahhhhrrrrrr
Uhrrrr Ahhhhrrrrrr
Aaaarhg...

Chewbacca

There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

Mark Twain

It's good to meet girl in park.
But better to park meat in girl.

Confucius

Politicians are like sperm.
One in a million turn out to be an actual human being.

Hustle Man

Apple fan boy: I'll buy a second iPhone 5 and buy a lot of iOS applications so that Apple will be able to buy Samsung (this shitty company) to shut it down and all the Apple haters will be forced to have an iPhone. Muhahaha...

Anonymous #60

Steve Jobs
1955-2011
Died from PC (Pancreatic Cancer).

Anonymous #59

I bought a dog once. Named him "Stay".
"Come here, Stay."
He's insane now.

Anonymous #58

No, no, no, I'm not insulting you.
I'm describing you.

Anonymous #57

Religion is like circumcision.
If you wait until someone is 21 to tell them about it they probably won't be interested.

Anonymous #56

Violent video games won't change our behaviour.
If people were influenced by video games, then the majority of Facebook users would be farmers right now.

Anonymous #55

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

Anonymous #54

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

Anonymous #53

What's the difference between religion and bullshit?
The bull.

Anonymous #52

I don't need a stable relationship,
I just need a stable Internet connection.

Anonymous #51

London 2012 Olympic Games - A bunch of countries coming across the ocean to put their flags in britain and try to get a bunch of gold... it's like history but opposite.

Anonymous #50

There are 2 types of people in this world:
People who say they pee in the shower, and the dirty fucking liars.

Anonymous #49

If you were born in Israel, you’d probably be Jewish.
If you were born in Saudi Arabia, you’d probably be Muslim.
If you were born in India, you’d probably be Hindu.
But because you were born in North America, you’re Christian.
Your faith is not inspired by some divine, constant truth.
It’s simply geography.

Anonymous #48

Kids are like fart.
You can only stand yours.

Anonymous #47

Pornography harms
my wrist.

Anonymous #46

Rhinos are just fat unicorns.

Anonymous #45

The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Anonymous #44

Afraid to die alone?
Become a bus driver.

Anonymous #43

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person.
Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Anonymous #42

1. Dig a hole.
2. Name it love.
3. Watch people falling in love.


Anonymous #41

People ask me why, as an atheist, I still say: OH MY GOD.
It makes perfect sense: We say "Oh my God" when something is UNBELIEVABLE.

Anonymous #40

Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

Anonymous #39

LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses.

Anonymous #38

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Anonymous #37

Every single time when I'm about to hug someone extremely sexy, I hit the miror.

Anonymous #36

Should array index start at 0 or 1?
My compromised solution is 0.5

Anonymous #35

It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature.

Anonymous #34

Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software.

Anonymous #33

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "You look terrible. Are you OK?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

Anonymous #32

Non alcoholic beer is like licking your sister.
It tastes right but it is wrong.

Anonymous #31

Why do Java deveolpers wear glasses?
Because they don't C#.

Anonymous #30

The reason women will never be the ones to propose is
because as soon as she gets on her knees,
he will start unzipping.

Anonymous #29

Why 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9 (seven ate nine) while 6 and 9 were flirting.

Anonymous #28

I'm no gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one.

Anonymous #27

I would nerver bungee jump...
I came into this world because of a broken rubber, and I'm not going out cause of one...

Anonymous #26

In a way, I feel sorry for the kids of this generation.
They'll have parents who know how to check browser history.

Anonymous #25

I'm not saying I hate her.
I just hope she gets fingered by wolverine

Anonymous #24

Everybody talks about leaving a better planet for the children.
Why nobody tries to leave better children to the planet?

Anonymous #23

"It's impossible." said pride.
"It's risky." said experience.
"It's pointless." said reason.
"Give it a try." whispered the heart.
...
"What the hell was that?!?!?!?!?!." shouted the anus two minutes later.

Anonymous #22

I love my sixpack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

Anonymous #21

Never make eye contact when eating a banana.

Anonymous #20

F_CK: All I need is U.

Anonymous #19

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Anonymous #18

All you need is love,
all you want is sex,
all you have is porn.


Anonymous #17

What you do after sex?
A. Smoke a cigarette
B. Kiss your partener
C. Clear browser history


Anonymous #16

Life is like a penis, simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely.
Then women make it hard.

Anonymous #15

A better world is where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Anonymous #14

Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.

Anonymous #13

I would rather check my facebook than face my checkbook.

Anonymous #12

We stopped checking for monsters under our bed, when we realized they were inside us.

Anonymous #11

Roses are red,
Violets are red,
Tulips are red,
Bushes are red,
Trees are red,
HOLY SHIT MY
GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!

Anonymous #10

I just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die". I'm pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn't one of them...

Anonymous #9

A world without woman would be a pain in the ass!!!

Anonymous #8

I need a six month holiday, TWICE A YEAR!

Anonymous #7

Going to Mc Donald's for a salad is like going to a whore for a hug.

Anonymous #6

"SEX" is not the answer.
Sex is the question, "YES" is the answer.

Anonymous #5

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

Anonymous #4

I'm not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Anonymous #3

Before sex, you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself.
Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fucked.

Anonymous #2

Does your ass ever get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your month?

Anonymous #1

Je mange donc je chie.

Don Ho

A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Doug Linder

You don't get to 500 million star systems without making a few enemies.

Darth Vader

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Robin Williams

Cheating is like eating fast food: you do it, you enjoy it, and then you feel like shit.

brotips #1212

Do everything for greatness, not money. Money follows greatness.

brotips #1001

The only problem with Microsoft is they just have no taste. They have absolutely no taste. And I don't mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way, in the sense that they don't think of original ideas, and they don't bring much culture into their products.

Steve Jobs

vi has two modes – "beep repeatedly" and "break everything".

Church of Emacs

Emacs is a great operating system, lacking only a decent editor.

Cult of vi

Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.

Linus Torvalds

Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.

Alanna

C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.

Gavin Russell Baker

In the one and only true way. The object-oriented version of "Spaghetti code" is, of course, "Lasagna code". (Too many layers)

Roberto Waltman

Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards removed.

Bob Gray

Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.

Mosher's Law of Software Engineering

In C++ it's harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg.

Bjarne Stroustrup

I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.

Oktal

Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like.

pixadel

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

Edward V Berard

I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!

Vidiu Platon

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code.

Christopher Thompson

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

Bill Gates

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Alan Kay

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

Brian Kernighan

The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.

Seymour Cray

To iterate is human, to recurse divine.

L. Peter Deutsch

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Martin Golding

Notepad++ is written in C++ and uses pure Win32 API and STL which ensures a higher execution speed and smaller program size.
By optimizing as many routines as possible without losing user friendliness, Notepad++ is trying to reduce the world carbon dioxide emissions. When using less CPU power, the PC can throttle down and reduce power consumption, resulting in a greener environment.